Dealing with condescending men

As women, we all have to deal with condescending men as some point. How do we best deal with them? I’ve had to deal with comments many times in my life and I am often disappointed that I have always taken the nice & polite approach. Most often I just make a note not to deal with this person again, if possible, or try to prove them wrong.

The most recent experience was at a car dealership. My husband got into a car accident with my 2006 Prius and it was considered totaled. I needed a new car. I am an environmentalist, but I wasn’t sure we were ready for two electric vehicles that only go about 100 miles. I was looking at the new plugin Prius Prime. I’m a big fan. My husband wanted me to get a pure EV, but offered to join me at the car dealership. Big mistake. While there, I was asking the salesperson about available Prius Prime and more detailed questions.

He and my husband started joking about women and the salesperson said that his wife also wanted a car he didn’t agree with and he said “I bought her the car and told her I didn’t want to here anything else about it.” I was shocked and angry and in that moment, I knew I would never buy a car from this person. I also knew my husband is once again an asshole.

This was a loss for the salesperson. He assumed my husband had the money and made the purchasing decisions. He was trying to convince my husband that just get me the car to shut me up. My husband has no money. I alone am purchasing a new vehicle. The salesperson bet on the wrong horse and this Toyota dealership has lost me as a customer.

How I wish I would have told them both how I felt in that very moment. Why, as women, are we supposed to be more polite and keep it together? To put up with this kind of behavior from men? I regret not telling them both off.

In the end, I didn’t buy a Prius Prime plug-in. I bought a different electric vehicle all on my own without my husband’s input or money from an online retailer where I don’t need to deal with condescending salesmen.

Of course, there are many more like this over the years, but this is the one where I am disappointed in myself for not making a scene, for once. I guess that is what Yelp reviews are for ;-).